In the summer of 2019, my best friend was in the last trimester with her second son. I organised a Blessingway ceremony for her. For this celebration, I started drawing for her as a gift. On postcard-sized watercolour papers, I drew the positive affirmations I wished her to support her birth and motherhood of two. Then I drew again for another friend preparing for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean section). I suddenly found myself with a vision, a purpose, which shone brightly before me. So I drew next to my daughter when she was asleep (and I wasn't), drew at night, and drew in my own time. Sometimes I drew with one hand, nursing because inspiration struck me. The creation's state of mind brought wonderful feelings to my soul. And an idea grew more and more powerful. An idea that felt good! A valuable idea! One that I could carry out!
March 15, 2020
My Instagram page and the first post were brought to me by the feeling that I had to do something! On March 15, 2020, all of a sudden, all the news about covid came pouring out. I was overwhelmed, paralysed, and in fear of the unknown. I thought of my daughter, myself, loved ones, and all the women expecting or about to give birth. I couldn't help feeling for them. Bringing a child into the world is always a huge trust, trust in the good, the best, the known world. But this new world was unknown. When I'm overwhelmed by doubt, fear, and the feeling that I'm just a boat on the ocean, that's when I let go of control the most. It's when everything shuts down, I let go of my pessimism, I let go of my own life stuff, and I turn to the Good, to hope, with infinite faith and total trust, and I am moved by one thing, to help. Then I am sure that I can help, that I have something to give to everyone, and that I am needed. I feel that I can't stand on the sidelines if there's a chance that my actions will help even one of my fellow human beings. That's how the first post was made; that's how the Instagram page was made from scratch. In one day, from one decision.
July 8, 2020
The date when the Pregnancy and Birth Card Pack was launched. 100 copies. That's how much we invested. One hundred copies of each card, 100 copies of the box. We received all this from the printer without any assembly, so that night, I found myself with a year's work spread over a whole room. All around me were the drawings I had created in my spare moments, during sleep, while breastfeeding, at night or in my little moments of me time, with a heart full of faith that this is what the world needs, what every woman deserves. It took hours to prepare all 100 boxes and fill them with 52 positive visual messages. I hand-picked each card as I collected them, so each pack came in a different order. It was a lot of work, but as I sat in the middle of the room filling the folded boxes, all I could think about was, who was this box going to reach? Will it make her feel all the energy and love I have put into it? Which card will bring her profound realisation or come at the best time? Will any of them be with her at birth? One of the chosen lucky pieces may witness the birth of a child and a mother.
And suddenly, my whole professional life flashed before me. As I started out in maternal yoga and went through so many training seminars all the way to this? Was that the goal all along? To create this? I've been on this professional path for almost 10 years now, and perhaps I didn't realise that every step I took, every investment of time and energy, every new training, every new book, was a brick to what I hold in my hands here and now?
Two weeks later, the 100 cards were all sold out.
October 13, 2020
There are some events in life that we feel we have only dared to dream about, or not even that. I like to dream big, and I usually dream about the feeling itself, rarely about tangible things. I believe that dreaming is creation. Everything I have been given in my life started with a daydream. Perhaps it is the same with you.
Some dreams take longer to come true. For me, such a dream was my vocation. For a long time, I didn't know exactly where I was needed, where my place was, or what my vocation in life was.
In the last few years and since the cards, I have truly felt and seen the path I want to walk, the path I have a gift and passion for.
There is one woman whose example has been brought to me in almost all my training. Everywhere I went, she was either an invited guest speaker, or her name came up.
She is Adrienne Feller, head of the Panarom Aromatherapy Institute.
The way she talked about her vocation was an example of how I would like to feel one day about my vocation.
After releasing the cards, I contacted Adrienne and Madeleine Feller from Panarom because I felt I would like to collaborate with them. I have used their products for many, many years. These products accompanied me as a woman, a professional, a pregnant woman, during my childbirth and postpartum, and now as a mother.
That's why this day meant a lot to me because, on this day, the Pregnancy and Birth card package was released as part of the Panarom product range.
October 18, 2020
My second deck of cards, Postpartum and Motherhood, was released on this day. Because I believe that whether we are new mothers or practising mothers, we don't need advice. We need self-affirmation, the belief that we are the best mothers for our children and that the journey of motherhood will hold wonders and discoveries for us! Thanks to this, we can become greater and better. I believe these 52 visual affirmation cards will support and empower us, Women, Mothers, to find ourselves in this new role of motherhood.
January 19, 2021
Relaxation, visualisation and analogies are my main languages. When you have written to me privately about something you were worried about or hoping for understanding and guidance, I have often responded with a visualisation image and practice that felt appropriate at the time because I believe that the answers are within us! Every single answer!
I have tried to get a sense of what the analogy of what you are in might be, even via the Internet, because I also believe that these are excellent and easy tools to use to evoke responses. I intended to bring the affirming phrases of the cards closer to you, to make them truly profound, experienceable and felt, so on January 19 2021, I uploaded the first relaxation audio, followed by more and more. They are available and free to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, among others.
March 26, 2021
On this day, I held my first online meditation. A meditation that was inspired by an invitation from the Csendben Nő community. This meditation is a healing journey among our ancestors. Over 200 of us were present at this free meditation live that day. It was fantastic, and I never thought meditation and connection online could be so powerful. The meditation was later made available for purchase with a workbook I created, which nearly 25 people bought for themselves afterwards. Thank you for your trust! This topic is also significant to me, and in a way, my professional journey was also started by transgenerational patterns.
A year later, on March 26 2022, I again held an online meditation on Courage organised by Csendben Nő.
Both meditations and the related workbook are now available for purchase on the Csendben Nő website.
September 20, 2021
The first group Birth Blessing Celebration with Adrienne Feller at the Panarom Aromatherapy Institute. During this September celebration, incredible fears were being voiced.
I can see these women who participated standing proudly in the face of their fear. They looked deep into its eyes. This time they were the ones who did not allow the fear they faced to look away from them or blink. They grabbed it with their eyes and walked towards it, calling out loud, saying what they feared and didn't need to fear because they had strength. They are blessed and protected even in the giant storm. They were moving towards it, and fear could not move. It had to cover its natural face. It could no longer whisper in the invisible darkness. They said its name aloud and walked in front of it, and then, in that sincere moment, the fear dissipated, floating away like stardust. It was and is not. A gentle memory now. Not taken, but given: Strength and faith.
Group celebrations have been held regularly ever since.
June 5, 2021
The date of publication of the Postpartum Diary. The gate between Sky and Earth within us. We wait expectantly for the divine child, welcoming it into our bodies and forming it into the matter. We open ourselves in such a way that worlds meet within us, we surrender to the unknown, we dive into a sea of fears and dissolve into nothingness, leaving only one prayer: Thy will be done. Beyond space and time, we stand and wait at the border of the Sky and Earth. Our arms are outstretched in trust, our hearts pounding in our most profound vulnerability, and tears of grace wash our faces as we finally embrace the child nurtured in our wombs and souls. And there we will sign the invisible contract, the unbreakable promise to love, protect, and nurture until the world is the world until the gates of the Sky and the Earth separate us and perhaps beyond. The most profound mystery of life reveals itself to us when we release our child into the Earth. It has been in us for years. Because everything will be different, everything will be rewritten. And yet the past and the future must meet to reshape who we are. This is the story of the cover of the Postpartum Diary. This is the mission of the Postpartum Diary.
November 21, 2021
On the day of the "Másállapotot a Szülészetben" demonstration, several of my card images participated in the form of banners carried by unstoppable women to stand up for the free and dignified birth of Hungarian women and the birth of their children. #másállapotot #rendszerterhe #vártunkeleget
February 3, 2022
A real magic and incredible miracle happened, perhaps a tremendous success of my work so far: Several pictures of my cards were put on the walls of the maternity ward of the Honvéd Hospital. I donated 17 pictures to the maternity ward of the Honvéd Hospital in December, which was received with openness and joy! I honestly can't describe how I feel and what this means to me and maybe many others around the birth-birth process. I wish from the bottom of my heart that these messages will give a lot of strength and faith to the women giving birth there and their families. May they be a source of support and guiding values for the professionals who work there.
Thanks for making this happen and for all the blessings on Earth and in the sky that accompany my work!
In March 2022, two more maternity wards welcomed these affirming images and phrases. I am grateful for the openness of the maternity wards of Semmelweis Hospital in Kiskunhalas and Csolnoky Ferenc Hospital in Veszprém.
June 13, 2022
The day of the publication of the Kids Cards.
I didn't have an easy childhood. And compared to many stories, it was. I feel more and more fortunate as time goes on. I was lucky because, in addition to my difficult childhood, I was also given tools. Strategies for survival. Self-healing ability.
My deck of cards for kids is the deepest and most honest insight I can give about my soul and life. Every affirmation found in it is a strength I have gained through my personal journey with myself and the grace of life. A gift, but a gift of hard work.
For me, as for many, the road to paradise led through hell; for most of my life, I was convinced that there was no other way.
Then I had a daughter, and I began to believe again in something I had no evidence of my own but something I wanted to believe.
That "hell" is only one way to "paradise", not the only way.
I am grateful that life is so diverse that it can hold many experiences, tears and love.
I trust that the deck of cards will heal you, my fellow adult souls, and show our children the path that leads through life and paradise itself.